There is a full-on rant in this entry. I have just woken up (you will see why) and, not for the first time, I am PISSED OFF.
Okay, I realise the Chinese don't have a proper concept of the weekend like we do, and that Saturday isn't a day off anything very much for most people, and that 0915 is not particularly early for a lot of them, and that it's my fault for going to bed late if I'm annoyed at being woken up now, but here it is:
WHEN SOMEONE IS LATE TO MEET YOU IN YOUR CAR, DO NOT SIT OUTSIDE SEVERAL BLOCKS OF FLATS AND JUST BEEP YOUR HORN LOUD AND LONG AND INTERMITTENTLY FOR SEVERAL MINUTES (often more than ten) YOU DUMB SONOFABITCH.
AND YOU, THE LATE PERSON, GET OUT OF BED, GET DOWNSTAIRS, AND GET TO THAT CAR AS FAST AS YOU DAMN WELL CAN, YOU INCONSIDERATE, SLOW, LAZY ARSEWIPES.
This happens several times a week and it is not only annoying as hell (because it invariably wakes me, yes even me the one who can sleep for Great Britain, from my slumber) but is the mark of an incredibly backward society. Car horns are for alerting drivers to danger; they are not there to express annoyance when stuck in traffic jams (every country has these morons though), and they are certainly not there to get your friend out of bed when he's late in the morning.
Saturday, 27 December 2008
Tuesday, 23 December 2008
Exams
See below this post for another post I only just uploaded (can't have the praise for my Mum go unnoticed!). Yesterday marked the start of my exam season, and today marked the end. Yes, just two days. Argh. Last week I was supposed to revise myself silly but I just couldn't find the motivation and ended up doing not as much as I'd hoped. This led to lastminute cramming, and a bit of worrying, but ... that's my own fault. So how were they?
Listening - awful. My worst area by far. I barely heard some of the dialogues, and just guessed most of the answers. I'll be lucky if I got even 20% correct. I wish they'd give us individual tapes, I might stand more of a chance then. Incidentally, anyone in first or second year at Newcastle care to comment on whether or not they've started to do that back home? We complained about it last year, European language students all get that opportunity, why should we be made to sit in a big room and listen to one tape at the front which is played just twice when other students get to play it as many times as they want in their time limit? Hmm.
Speaking - considering I didn't have a clue what was going to happen, I think I did alright. You choose a sheet (without seeing the content, there are 2 to choose from) and then have a few minutes to prepare. Unlike the UK though, you are preparing in the same room as other candidates who are taking the exam. It's annoying, but that's how it is so deal with it. First you have to read a passage, then answer questions on the passage. The third part involves completing sentences using the stuff provided in brackets as a guide. And the final bit is 4 questions, you choose one and just launch into an answer. I don't know if it was recorded, there was the teacher's phone on the desk but I'm guessing that was in case she got a call and not because she wanted to record my answers, but on a related note, it would help if the teacher showed some INTEREST in the student while they are being examined and didnt just look at her lap when the bumbling English idiot stumbles over some words in the passage. Still, I think it went better than Listening by far.
Last night I slept for about 4 hours. This was nowhere near enough (not my fault per se, I just couldn't sleep it was infuriating), so today's exams were tedious. Not SO hard, but tiring and an irritation to say the least.
Grammar - three or four sides, lots of questions, just hammer through and answer them. Based on the books you've been using all along, so just hope stuff you looked at comes up and you can make educated guesses at the stuff you don't know!
Reading - as with grammar, and much the same; really you either know something or you don't. It's all in your books. I was lucky enough to have skimmed over a couple of passages this afternoon which came up in the exam. Without them I don't know if I would even have known what the passages were about. Real planning would have been to actually revise all the (MANY) passages we looked at. Ah well, I got lucky, hurray for me.
So exams are over, and I'm monstrously tired. But before I complete this post, a word on taking exams in XNU. It's a disgrace. I know this doesnt happen with the Chinese students, because they are behaved, and their teachers come down on them like a ton of bricks if they step out of line, but with all these foreign bastards, it's a joke. Whispering and casual glancing at papers is rife, as are stupid childish antics that I would expect from a 13 year old trying to be the "cool kid" and not a 27 year old mother-of-three (so I am told) ... Guys came in almost an hour late. Lucky for them the exam was 2 hours long and the paper was short enough that it could be completed in under an hour with ease. At one point I saw this imbecile sitting in front of me turned round about 170 degrees just looking at my paper. I glanced up, gave him a look, and told him (verbatim) to "fuck off", before folding my paper up and hiding my answers from his nosy gaze. Some of the teachers are just as bad, either they'll not tell people off immediately for talking, or they'll just walk over to someone and then give them an "alright-I-caught-you-using-your-electronic-dictionary-so-just-stop-using-it" nod and it's like some huge joke to the student. The uni must be seriously hung up on getting these foreigners' cash because in the UK it doesnt matter where you come from or who you are, if you're cheating (even a bit) there's a disciplinary procedure and you can fail the module or even be asked (read told) to leave the uni.
No wonder people don't trust some Asian countries' exam certificates. It's an absolute joke.
Listening - awful. My worst area by far. I barely heard some of the dialogues, and just guessed most of the answers. I'll be lucky if I got even 20% correct. I wish they'd give us individual tapes, I might stand more of a chance then. Incidentally, anyone in first or second year at Newcastle care to comment on whether or not they've started to do that back home? We complained about it last year, European language students all get that opportunity, why should we be made to sit in a big room and listen to one tape at the front which is played just twice when other students get to play it as many times as they want in their time limit? Hmm.
Speaking - considering I didn't have a clue what was going to happen, I think I did alright. You choose a sheet (without seeing the content, there are 2 to choose from) and then have a few minutes to prepare. Unlike the UK though, you are preparing in the same room as other candidates who are taking the exam. It's annoying, but that's how it is so deal with it. First you have to read a passage, then answer questions on the passage. The third part involves completing sentences using the stuff provided in brackets as a guide. And the final bit is 4 questions, you choose one and just launch into an answer. I don't know if it was recorded, there was the teacher's phone on the desk but I'm guessing that was in case she got a call and not because she wanted to record my answers, but on a related note, it would help if the teacher showed some INTEREST in the student while they are being examined and didnt just look at her lap when the bumbling English idiot stumbles over some words in the passage. Still, I think it went better than Listening by far.
Last night I slept for about 4 hours. This was nowhere near enough (not my fault per se, I just couldn't sleep it was infuriating), so today's exams were tedious. Not SO hard, but tiring and an irritation to say the least.
Grammar - three or four sides, lots of questions, just hammer through and answer them. Based on the books you've been using all along, so just hope stuff you looked at comes up and you can make educated guesses at the stuff you don't know!
Reading - as with grammar, and much the same; really you either know something or you don't. It's all in your books. I was lucky enough to have skimmed over a couple of passages this afternoon which came up in the exam. Without them I don't know if I would even have known what the passages were about. Real planning would have been to actually revise all the (MANY) passages we looked at. Ah well, I got lucky, hurray for me.
So exams are over, and I'm monstrously tired. But before I complete this post, a word on taking exams in XNU. It's a disgrace. I know this doesnt happen with the Chinese students, because they are behaved, and their teachers come down on them like a ton of bricks if they step out of line, but with all these foreign bastards, it's a joke. Whispering and casual glancing at papers is rife, as are stupid childish antics that I would expect from a 13 year old trying to be the "cool kid" and not a 27 year old mother-of-three (so I am told) ... Guys came in almost an hour late. Lucky for them the exam was 2 hours long and the paper was short enough that it could be completed in under an hour with ease. At one point I saw this imbecile sitting in front of me turned round about 170 degrees just looking at my paper. I glanced up, gave him a look, and told him (verbatim) to "fuck off", before folding my paper up and hiding my answers from his nosy gaze. Some of the teachers are just as bad, either they'll not tell people off immediately for talking, or they'll just walk over to someone and then give them an "alright-I-caught-you-using-your-electronic-dictionary-so-just-stop-using-it" nod and it's like some huge joke to the student. The uni must be seriously hung up on getting these foreigners' cash because in the UK it doesnt matter where you come from or who you are, if you're cheating (even a bit) there's a disciplinary procedure and you can fail the module or even be asked (read told) to leave the uni.
No wonder people don't trust some Asian countries' exam certificates. It's an absolute joke.
Supplies
No, not that old joke about the guys who organise an army camp and leave it to the Chinese guy to do the food (email me if you need your racist curiosity satisfied).
Instead, here's a collection of things I have courtesy of my Mum. Over the last few weeks I've received about a dozen parcels, and credit is due. This is a brief list of the stuff I have left (some things have been eaten of course, or used as small presents to friends).
* 9 cuppa-soup sachets, three different flavours
* 5 and a half white chocolate slabs, various brands
* 2 packs of Rolos (I ate the other one in just one sitting I was that greedy)
* 6 packs of Polo mints
* 1 pack of Fruit Polos
* 14 sachets of hot chocolate / coffee drinks
* 7 sachets of Fybogel for my poor insides (let's hope it works)
* 2 packs of stock cubes (and then some)
* TOO MUCH CINNAMON, STOP SENDING IT! (I mean that in a good way, but really, three or four boxes is enough for now!)
* Multiple packs of chewing gum
* 24 Werther's Originals (plus a couple in my jacket pocket for use in exams today)
* A couple of ready-made reheat-style meals.
So, other Year Abroad students, as they say in cards, I see your parents and I raise you my Mum.
Instead, here's a collection of things I have courtesy of my Mum. Over the last few weeks I've received about a dozen parcels, and credit is due. This is a brief list of the stuff I have left (some things have been eaten of course, or used as small presents to friends).
* 9 cuppa-soup sachets, three different flavours
* 5 and a half white chocolate slabs, various brands
* 2 packs of Rolos (I ate the other one in just one sitting I was that greedy)
* 6 packs of Polo mints
* 1 pack of Fruit Polos
* 14 sachets of hot chocolate / coffee drinks
* 7 sachets of Fybogel for my poor insides (let's hope it works)
* 2 packs of stock cubes (and then some)
* TOO MUCH CINNAMON, STOP SENDING IT! (I mean that in a good way, but really, three or four boxes is enough for now!)
* Multiple packs of chewing gum
* 24 Werther's Originals (plus a couple in my jacket pocket for use in exams today)
* A couple of ready-made reheat-style meals.
So, other Year Abroad students, as they say in cards, I see your parents and I raise you my Mum.
Sunday, 21 December 2008
Season's Greetings
One nice thing about Urumqi (possibly China as a whole, I'm not sure about the more Westernised parts) is that Christmas and New Year are Ronseal Events, that is to say, they do exactly what they say on the tin. None of this Christmas-sales-in-August nonsense that the UK goes in for, no tinsel up in July, and certainly no October mince pies (though I'm rather partial to a mince pie, if anyone would care to send me some I would be more than happy). I started to notice these decorations going on display in very late November, if not early December, which seems a reasonable time-frame in which to prepare for a present-giving event you've known was coming all year anyway! As for New Year, well that's not even so important here, they just go through the motions, the really important event being Chinese New Year (or Spring Festival) which takes place around a month after the Gregorian one. I digress. Next to my gym there is a fast food store, the owners of which have seen fit to wish everyone all the best for December 25th. Sadly whoever got the coloured pens that day didnt know how to spell. Happily, this makes me smile :) I hope you do too.
I hope that's clear enough to read; if not, Merry Chirstmas everybody!
Another classic, not festive though, is this one, proudly declaring that the store either does, or wishes everyone else to "Sweve In Sincerity" - this isn't just for Christmas (or even Chirstmas), it's up all year on the store front, and I still don't know what it means, because I've been lazy and not translated it. Answers on a postcard.
And finally, my own festivities, Chanukah is upon us :) Hurray. I may be a terribly unobservant Jew, but I do like Chanukah. Unfortunately with various exam preparations (my exams are tomorrow and Tuesday), and vast amounts of time being spent at home (not necessarily revising but not doing Chanukah-related stuff either), I only got round to making my chanukiah this evening. Originally it was going to be made of beer bottles, except I don't drink very often so I'd have to have 8 beers this evening just to make it possible ... Instead I have a series of empty tuna tins with plastic bottle caps superglued inside, and one tall tomato tin for the Shamash (lead candle, which must be raised above the others). I am aware of the equation [ plastic + fire = noes! ] so I am sitting here with the makeshift chanukiah in front of me, to prevent such an occurrence. It may have cut my finger (washing one of the tins out) and be a little more basic than what I've used in the past, but it's doing the job. At the moment, it is looking very good :)
And in other news, Lucy finally told her parents that she's going to visit me in China in February, so I no longer have to keep it a secret. 59 days to go! (I have waited quite some time to say that!)
I hope that's clear enough to read; if not, Merry Chirstmas everybody!
Another classic, not festive though, is this one, proudly declaring that the store either does, or wishes everyone else to "Sweve In Sincerity" - this isn't just for Christmas (or even Chirstmas), it's up all year on the store front, and I still don't know what it means, because I've been lazy and not translated it. Answers on a postcard.
And finally, my own festivities, Chanukah is upon us :) Hurray. I may be a terribly unobservant Jew, but I do like Chanukah. Unfortunately with various exam preparations (my exams are tomorrow and Tuesday), and vast amounts of time being spent at home (not necessarily revising but not doing Chanukah-related stuff either), I only got round to making my chanukiah this evening. Originally it was going to be made of beer bottles, except I don't drink very often so I'd have to have 8 beers this evening just to make it possible ... Instead I have a series of empty tuna tins with plastic bottle caps superglued inside, and one tall tomato tin for the Shamash (lead candle, which must be raised above the others). I am aware of the equation [ plastic + fire = noes! ] so I am sitting here with the makeshift chanukiah in front of me, to prevent such an occurrence. It may have cut my finger (washing one of the tins out) and be a little more basic than what I've used in the past, but it's doing the job. At the moment, it is looking very good :)
And in other news, Lucy finally told her parents that she's going to visit me in China in February, so I no longer have to keep it a secret. 59 days to go! (I have waited quite some time to say that!)
Thursday, 18 December 2008
It's Hip to be a Cat
Ouch, bad pun in my title (you'll see), but not as ouch as Lusya, Tanya's kitten (cat?) who followed some meat out of a window which happened to be on the 5th floor of a building and ended up on the pavement below. Two trips to vets later and Lusya's been X-rayed a number of times (the first lot done by incompetents who didnt see any break, and the second by an apparently much better vet who managed to show a distinct fracture), and had her hip put back together with metal plates, yay for surgery! She's doing okay now, despite some interesting wound management (they didn't fully close up, instead she's had a swab sewn in - what? I thought that just HELPED infection? it has something to do with fluid buildup I'm not sure - and Marta's been giving her injections three times a day, until last night, because today she goes back to the vet and they'll examine her / hopefully close her up properly for a few months until they need to remove the metalwork) - but she's chirpy enough and doesnt seem at all bothered by the whole healing process, apparently feeling no pain in the op site, but with no apparent nerve damage either (she can definitely feel tweezers pulling at the fur around her foot!) - kittens' pain self-management must be awesome.
There is one funny side of this - she sometimes has to wear a protective collar to stop her licking at her wound, and the Chinese for this collar is an "Elizabeth", a direct reference to the ruffs worn in "olde England", which we all thought was really quite amusing.
Oh wait, not as amusing as this (not cat related, and I got her permission before posting) - Marta lost her phone. Hmm, that doesnt surprise me anymore, but HOW did she lose it? "In the toilet at the uni". I could see where this was going before she even finished the story. See, they don't do seated things here, they have squatters. And poor Marta left her phone in the back pocket of her jeans (big mistake anyway, thieves love that), so while she was taking her trousers off, the phone slipped out and fell into the ceramic basin, slid down it and plooooop! Right into the vertical hole, where everything else goes. Nice one, Marta!
No way to get it back (and would you want to, even if you COULD?), but at least is gives a classic Tale of Urumqi for my blog :)
There is one funny side of this - she sometimes has to wear a protective collar to stop her licking at her wound, and the Chinese for this collar is an "Elizabeth", a direct reference to the ruffs worn in "olde England", which we all thought was really quite amusing.
Oh wait, not as amusing as this (not cat related, and I got her permission before posting) - Marta lost her phone. Hmm, that doesnt surprise me anymore, but HOW did she lose it? "In the toilet at the uni". I could see where this was going before she even finished the story. See, they don't do seated things here, they have squatters. And poor Marta left her phone in the back pocket of her jeans (big mistake anyway, thieves love that), so while she was taking her trousers off, the phone slipped out and fell into the ceramic basin, slid down it and plooooop! Right into the vertical hole, where everything else goes. Nice one, Marta!
No way to get it back (and would you want to, even if you COULD?), but at least is gives a classic Tale of Urumqi for my blog :)
Saturday, 13 December 2008
Circadian
For once, not a complaint anyone can really do much about, so it's more of a factual observation. For this entry, and any others in future, times are given in Beijing Time (BJT) which is 2 hours ahead of local time (XJT), due to Beijing's somewhat controlling nature. The passage of the sun is destroying my ability to feel right some days; class starts at 10, so on an average day I try to wake up around 0815 so I can potter about the house getting my stuff together, go and have breakfast at my leisure, and maybe walk to school if I'm not too late (catch a bus if I am). Right now official sunrise is about 0915, so I'm getting up in the dark. It's impossible. My whole body is just screaming "stay in bed, go back to sleep, idiot, the sun isn't even up!" ... I can only imagine what it will be like in January when sunrise is around 0945 according to online predictions I have read. I realise this is nothing compared to people who routinely work night shifts at their job, but it's a new infuriation to me ;) Then of course there'll be the happy midway point in about May when the sun rises at an appropriate time and sets likewise, followed by the month and a half where I'll no doubt be complaining that there's too MUCH sun in my day. Haha, no winning here :P
Friday, 12 December 2008
Summing Stuff Up In One Word
A nondescript (read I'm not entirely sure what I was eating) piece of fish tried to kill me today by wedging at the back of my mouth and choking me. Fortunately I managed to breathe in just enough to knock it down the right pipe and I'm here to tell the tale. I'm also here to tell you about two things - Urumqi's buses, and Chinese pop concerts.
When I travelled on Shanghai's buses (or in fact, on any of Shanghai's public transport vehicles) I immediately had to give up personal space, and get used to having my face in close proximity to several people's armpits / chests / faces / other body parts. Here the problem is less pronounced, but still exists, especially at rush hours (whereas Shanghai has PERMANENT overcrowding on public transport) ... I can think of three solutions:
* Use more buses. Clearly there are too many people for some routes, so put more of those buses on the road.
* Change your bus style - another reason they appear horribly crowded is for the most part there are only rows of single seats and a massive aisle space for people to pack into. Put more of the double-seat styles on the road and limit the number of "standers" and you'll find it a lot nicer.
* Invest in LONGER or TALLER buses, like other countries. Another way of maximising the amount your vehicle can carry. Maybe make them WIDER too.
Oh, and at some point, whenever you reach "developed country" status (instead of leaning on your "progressing" crutch, despite having hosted the Olympic Games, honestly what a ridiculous farcical situation), your population will have to learn some basic manners and common courtesies such as saying "excuse me", queuing rather than barging, and not coughing / spitting / sneezing on the buses.
This is irrelevant to my post, but I dearly needed to exercise my complaint gland. What's INTERESTING about the buses is that on the more well-funded routes (the buses from different routes, or maybe their parent companies, I'm not sure, are easily distinguished by colour and state of dilapidation) have TVs on them, at the front, broadcasting songs, adverts, and insane drivel. This brings me onto point two, about Chinese pop concerts.
Sometimes they show these on the TV - the singer is modern enough, snazzy haircut, silly designer clothes, a dancing troupe surrounding him / her putting down their funkiest moves (often not so funky, but what do I know) ... and the audience going wild. Except here's the thing. They are cheering / clapping / whatever FROM THEIR SEATS. The entire auditorium (many thousands) is seated and the people remain in their seats, waving these giant lance-looking wands above their heads in time to the music. Maybe 10 000 people all cheering and waving these things together. What on earth is that about? Where's the freedom of expression? Where's the liberty to get up and dance / mosh / whatever these kids call it?
Ahhhhhh yeah.
China.
When I travelled on Shanghai's buses (or in fact, on any of Shanghai's public transport vehicles) I immediately had to give up personal space, and get used to having my face in close proximity to several people's armpits / chests / faces / other body parts. Here the problem is less pronounced, but still exists, especially at rush hours (whereas Shanghai has PERMANENT overcrowding on public transport) ... I can think of three solutions:
* Use more buses. Clearly there are too many people for some routes, so put more of those buses on the road.
* Change your bus style - another reason they appear horribly crowded is for the most part there are only rows of single seats and a massive aisle space for people to pack into. Put more of the double-seat styles on the road and limit the number of "standers" and you'll find it a lot nicer.
* Invest in LONGER or TALLER buses, like other countries. Another way of maximising the amount your vehicle can carry. Maybe make them WIDER too.
Oh, and at some point, whenever you reach "developed country" status (instead of leaning on your "progressing" crutch, despite having hosted the Olympic Games, honestly what a ridiculous farcical situation), your population will have to learn some basic manners and common courtesies such as saying "excuse me", queuing rather than barging, and not coughing / spitting / sneezing on the buses.
This is irrelevant to my post, but I dearly needed to exercise my complaint gland. What's INTERESTING about the buses is that on the more well-funded routes (the buses from different routes, or maybe their parent companies, I'm not sure, are easily distinguished by colour and state of dilapidation) have TVs on them, at the front, broadcasting songs, adverts, and insane drivel. This brings me onto point two, about Chinese pop concerts.
Sometimes they show these on the TV - the singer is modern enough, snazzy haircut, silly designer clothes, a dancing troupe surrounding him / her putting down their funkiest moves (often not so funky, but what do I know) ... and the audience going wild. Except here's the thing. They are cheering / clapping / whatever FROM THEIR SEATS. The entire auditorium (many thousands) is seated and the people remain in their seats, waving these giant lance-looking wands above their heads in time to the music. Maybe 10 000 people all cheering and waving these things together. What on earth is that about? Where's the freedom of expression? Where's the liberty to get up and dance / mosh / whatever these kids call it?
Ahhhhhh yeah.
China.
Monday, 8 December 2008
Disruptions
I've moved back to Intermediate Class 2 until my exams (which take place in two weeks), mainly because the exams are all based around the books and vocab we have been learning, and if I take Intermediate Class 1's exams I will surely fail, having been in that class a mere three weeks or so. If I stay in Class 1 and take Class 2's exams I will have to do double work at home. Ergo, I've moved myself temporarily back into Class 2, so I at least stand a reasonable chance on these papers (except listening, I really think I am going to fail listening, and this worries me).
I headed along to room 417, where we used to have class, only to find we've now moved to 511. No problem, I nip up the stairs and after a couple of attempts in which I walked right past it, I find this new classroom. It's tiny. Maybe some of the class dropped out or were moved, and this meant room 417 (which really was quite big, easily seating 50 I would guess) became obsolete for the remaining few. I don't know. Either way, we're now in this small room. A couple of things happen when you downsize your classroom - it's warmer (yay, don't want to be cold in Urumqi), and it's noisier because things are so much closer. Allow me to paint a picture. This classroom has two columns of desks in it, two desks wide, so each row is 4 desks, and there are maybe five rows. A total of 20 desks. An aisle space about one and a half people wide, if that. There's a small space at the front for the teacher, and a whiteboard propped up against the window. There is no extra space; this is SMALL.
So what happens when there are eight students in the room, and one person comes in late (door at the back by the way) - anything this person does to change the atmosphere becomes immediately noticeable, that's what. Joy of joys the latecomer (seriously, why do you turn up half an hour late, and just barge your way in? It's not cool, clever, funny, and it certainly isn't mature), is the annoying kid (I refuse to call anyone who barely looks 18 an adult here) who doesnt bring any books and thinks he can just chat to his neighbour. Except there's a problem. This isn't the big room in which your piddling chat sort of murmured away in the corner. And your "mate" (who is actually hardworking and should have the balls to tell this idiot to piss off) isn't next to you, he's across this aisle. Oh, and you're not being discreet at all, in fact the sound of your voice is in direct competition with the teacher (who, bless her, is a really good teacher, but not so hot on the discipline and just tries to talk over this dick). Well, after about 10 minutes of this, I'd had enough. Actually I've had enough for a few weeks now, because so many of these damn Kazakhs are rude and discourteous, and I've wanted to just turn around and give them a mouthful. (One guy I know, an American in the Higher Class, told me in his first year here he actually got in fistfights with a couple of them over similar behaviour).
I turned around in my seat and, looking straight at him, said: "Will you close your mouth?" only it wasnt a question, it was a statement. I turned back. There was an audible silence. I'm the guy that sits quiet in class and speaks only when it's to answer a question. Then he speaks, in heavily accented (and by the sound of it, shaped by too much American gangsta music) English - "What you say to me?" ... on the second prompt I turn around again, and put it a little more forcefully, "Will you SHUT UP" and in return I get "Woah, what he say? [To me] Heeeeeeey, this is not America, this is Wulumuqi" - two things to note here, first of all I am NOT AMERICAN. DON'T GET IT WRONG, ESPECIALLY IF YOU KNOW I AM BRITISH. I can take it as a misconception, but this fool knows I'm not from that side of the pond. And secondly, I don't care if this is Urumqi, we're in a school situation, not in your back yard, homie, and I'm here to learn not smoke dope with you and your smacked-up crew. Oh and thirdly, with his manner of speaking he reminded me of someone I used to know (Mum, you know exactly who I'm talking about), and this just doesnt go down well. Seconds from making my next move (a response in Chinese, to make sure he understood, and failing that a response from my fists), and with the classroom quiet as anything now, save for this squirt's goads in whatever he thought was English, and something changed.
Nargiz, one of the bubbliest girls, bright too, and a friend of mine brought about by her younger brother speaking reasonable English and thus we have lunch together most days, turns around in her seat and starts giving this kid an earful. In Kazakh. Fast, loud, to the point. He starts arguing back, perhaps he figures she's just a girl. But then she gets up, and she's easily as tall as, if not taller than him, she comes out from her desk and goes round to him, and argues him right back into whatever cave he crawled out of (because I sure as hell wouldn't want to think people like that come from wombs), just in time for break. The bell goes, he leaves (and didnt come back for the remaining three lessons) and I am totally indebted. After that, she and a couple of the others told the teacher they didn't care much for this guy, that his first impression is bad, and that he's always smoking weed (why does this not surprise me?) - and when I said thanks, she said not to mention it because if I dealt with him there'd be trouble (I think she could see where it was going to go) but if she handled it there wouldn't be ... local knowledge I guess. The next three lessons were silent, it was awesome.
All I can say is, he'd better not be coming back to those classes until I'm back in Class 1, where, to put things fully in perspective, there are a lot more students (anywhere between 25 and 40 depending on the class), and in an average class there is no competition to hear the teacher. Teacher speaks, you listen. Simple as. Why can't it all be like that?!
In other news, I am thinking about compiling a list of current prices and useful places for people to go, something to help next year's students (if there are any, someone mentioned problems with the Urumqi-Newcastle connection), this sentences is partly a reminder to myself to actually do this, and partly a request for people to say what kind of things they think should be on this list :) Customer participation and all that.
I headed along to room 417, where we used to have class, only to find we've now moved to 511. No problem, I nip up the stairs and after a couple of attempts in which I walked right past it, I find this new classroom. It's tiny. Maybe some of the class dropped out or were moved, and this meant room 417 (which really was quite big, easily seating 50 I would guess) became obsolete for the remaining few. I don't know. Either way, we're now in this small room. A couple of things happen when you downsize your classroom - it's warmer (yay, don't want to be cold in Urumqi), and it's noisier because things are so much closer. Allow me to paint a picture. This classroom has two columns of desks in it, two desks wide, so each row is 4 desks, and there are maybe five rows. A total of 20 desks. An aisle space about one and a half people wide, if that. There's a small space at the front for the teacher, and a whiteboard propped up against the window. There is no extra space; this is SMALL.
So what happens when there are eight students in the room, and one person comes in late (door at the back by the way) - anything this person does to change the atmosphere becomes immediately noticeable, that's what. Joy of joys the latecomer (seriously, why do you turn up half an hour late, and just barge your way in? It's not cool, clever, funny, and it certainly isn't mature), is the annoying kid (I refuse to call anyone who barely looks 18 an adult here) who doesnt bring any books and thinks he can just chat to his neighbour. Except there's a problem. This isn't the big room in which your piddling chat sort of murmured away in the corner. And your "mate" (who is actually hardworking and should have the balls to tell this idiot to piss off) isn't next to you, he's across this aisle. Oh, and you're not being discreet at all, in fact the sound of your voice is in direct competition with the teacher (who, bless her, is a really good teacher, but not so hot on the discipline and just tries to talk over this dick). Well, after about 10 minutes of this, I'd had enough. Actually I've had enough for a few weeks now, because so many of these damn Kazakhs are rude and discourteous, and I've wanted to just turn around and give them a mouthful. (One guy I know, an American in the Higher Class, told me in his first year here he actually got in fistfights with a couple of them over similar behaviour).
I turned around in my seat and, looking straight at him, said: "Will you close your mouth?" only it wasnt a question, it was a statement. I turned back. There was an audible silence. I'm the guy that sits quiet in class and speaks only when it's to answer a question. Then he speaks, in heavily accented (and by the sound of it, shaped by too much American gangsta music) English - "What you say to me?" ... on the second prompt I turn around again, and put it a little more forcefully, "Will you SHUT UP" and in return I get "Woah, what he say? [To me] Heeeeeeey, this is not America, this is Wulumuqi" - two things to note here, first of all I am NOT AMERICAN. DON'T GET IT WRONG, ESPECIALLY IF YOU KNOW I AM BRITISH. I can take it as a misconception, but this fool knows I'm not from that side of the pond. And secondly, I don't care if this is Urumqi, we're in a school situation, not in your back yard, homie, and I'm here to learn not smoke dope with you and your smacked-up crew. Oh and thirdly, with his manner of speaking he reminded me of someone I used to know (Mum, you know exactly who I'm talking about), and this just doesnt go down well. Seconds from making my next move (a response in Chinese, to make sure he understood, and failing that a response from my fists), and with the classroom quiet as anything now, save for this squirt's goads in whatever he thought was English, and something changed.
Nargiz, one of the bubbliest girls, bright too, and a friend of mine brought about by her younger brother speaking reasonable English and thus we have lunch together most days, turns around in her seat and starts giving this kid an earful. In Kazakh. Fast, loud, to the point. He starts arguing back, perhaps he figures she's just a girl. But then she gets up, and she's easily as tall as, if not taller than him, she comes out from her desk and goes round to him, and argues him right back into whatever cave he crawled out of (because I sure as hell wouldn't want to think people like that come from wombs), just in time for break. The bell goes, he leaves (and didnt come back for the remaining three lessons) and I am totally indebted. After that, she and a couple of the others told the teacher they didn't care much for this guy, that his first impression is bad, and that he's always smoking weed (why does this not surprise me?) - and when I said thanks, she said not to mention it because if I dealt with him there'd be trouble (I think she could see where it was going to go) but if she handled it there wouldn't be ... local knowledge I guess. The next three lessons were silent, it was awesome.
All I can say is, he'd better not be coming back to those classes until I'm back in Class 1, where, to put things fully in perspective, there are a lot more students (anywhere between 25 and 40 depending on the class), and in an average class there is no competition to hear the teacher. Teacher speaks, you listen. Simple as. Why can't it all be like that?!
In other news, I am thinking about compiling a list of current prices and useful places for people to go, something to help next year's students (if there are any, someone mentioned problems with the Urumqi-Newcastle connection), this sentences is partly a reminder to myself to actually do this, and partly a request for people to say what kind of things they think should be on this list :) Customer participation and all that.
Tuesday, 2 December 2008
Have I Made A Mistake?
101 days into a 333(ish) day project is probably not the time to be having second thoughts. Or maybe it's just normal, I dont know. I had thoughts like this earlier on (anyone reading my blog must have been blind not to notice), maybe I reckoned they would subside by now. But no, it STILL riles me when something ridiculously "normal" and "simple" by any other country's standards can be messed around horribly in China. Today features that bastion of Chinese idiocy, the Post Office. Again. Yes, it's not enough that I had troubles with them in the past (and the last time I was in China as well, both the PO and Banks seem absurdly run) - it seems they are destined to cause trouble.
I want to send my friend something very simple. She like brown pens (and has probably twigged I am talking about her just now), and I managed to find some brown felt-tip-style drawing pens in Urumqi. Dead cheap, so I got her two. I myself have identical pens in purple and green, and my housemate has one in red and one in purple too - they're nice to use, if anyone wants them ... well I'd offer to send them to you, but as you'll see, that might be harder than I first thought. I decided to take a risk. I put them in an envelope, just a normal brown envelope. So there's a sheet of paper and two slimline brown pens in an envelope, which has been sellotaped shut because otherwise it just wont close (and also because the system here is not to use lick-and-stick envelopes. Peel and stick is probably a development reserved for next century) ... "Two to England" (yes, Great Aunt Judith, I have finally sent my reply to your letter! Mum please pass that along. And yes, Marilyn, your mail is also on its way!) and "one to America" ... Oh what's that? You can't send it? Well why not? Oh because it's not a letter? Yeah well that's none of your damn business, if I want to send 2 pens in an envelope, what's it to you? Yeah you have your regulations but they are ridiculous. Why is it that I have been to about 12 other countries and NEVER had a problem with their postal service? Just CHINA.
She got her boss. Who was equally useless, just repeated the situation. The solution is to buy a box. Yeah, a BOX to send 2 pens. I asked her, "What? So if I want to send my friend a small present, it has to be in a box?" and the answer was a resolute "yes" which means two things:
1) China Post has a racket on boxes and is using them to keep profits up (heaven forfend you should use another box, also things have to be packed in front of them, yet another bane of my existence)
2) The system is (as I have stated before) seriously retarded.
I left, livid, and am still ragey. Also, I still have an envelope with two brown pens in it :( Sorry Lari.
The actual point of this was - every time something like this happens, I question my decision to learn Chinese (even more so than normal, my original reasons for choosing it no longer existing), and I am seriously put off the idea of having ANYTHING to do with China. Ever. So I lose even more motivation for yet another day, and all I can think is, "This is a poor excuse for a country and I want nothing more than to come home". Yes it's needlessly complainy and I can think of a lot worse places to be, but sadly, I can also think of a lot BETTER places to be.
I want to send my friend something very simple. She like brown pens (and has probably twigged I am talking about her just now), and I managed to find some brown felt-tip-style drawing pens in Urumqi. Dead cheap, so I got her two. I myself have identical pens in purple and green, and my housemate has one in red and one in purple too - they're nice to use, if anyone wants them ... well I'd offer to send them to you, but as you'll see, that might be harder than I first thought. I decided to take a risk. I put them in an envelope, just a normal brown envelope. So there's a sheet of paper and two slimline brown pens in an envelope, which has been sellotaped shut because otherwise it just wont close (and also because the system here is not to use lick-and-stick envelopes. Peel and stick is probably a development reserved for next century) ... "Two to England" (yes, Great Aunt Judith, I have finally sent my reply to your letter! Mum please pass that along. And yes, Marilyn, your mail is also on its way!) and "one to America" ... Oh what's that? You can't send it? Well why not? Oh because it's not a letter? Yeah well that's none of your damn business, if I want to send 2 pens in an envelope, what's it to you? Yeah you have your regulations but they are ridiculous. Why is it that I have been to about 12 other countries and NEVER had a problem with their postal service? Just CHINA.
She got her boss. Who was equally useless, just repeated the situation. The solution is to buy a box. Yeah, a BOX to send 2 pens. I asked her, "What? So if I want to send my friend a small present, it has to be in a box?" and the answer was a resolute "yes" which means two things:
1) China Post has a racket on boxes and is using them to keep profits up (heaven forfend you should use another box, also things have to be packed in front of them, yet another bane of my existence)
2) The system is (as I have stated before) seriously retarded.
I left, livid, and am still ragey. Also, I still have an envelope with two brown pens in it :( Sorry Lari.
The actual point of this was - every time something like this happens, I question my decision to learn Chinese (even more so than normal, my original reasons for choosing it no longer existing), and I am seriously put off the idea of having ANYTHING to do with China. Ever. So I lose even more motivation for yet another day, and all I can think is, "This is a poor excuse for a country and I want nothing more than to come home". Yes it's needlessly complainy and I can think of a lot worse places to be, but sadly, I can also think of a lot BETTER places to be.
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