More Happenings From Chinaland

The Chinese reaction to Swine Flu (sorry, Type A H1N1 Influenza) is to aggressively quarantine anyone suspected of having it, or of having been in contact with someone who may have had it. Also, to lock up all of Shanghai's Mexicans, regardless of whether or not they have even BEEN TO MEXICO in the past so many weeks ... So basically, having failed miserably to warn the world about Bird Flu and SARS, neither of which thankfully got off the ground in a big way, the Chinese pendulum now swings to the opposite side. I'm willing to bet that, like the word for "logic", traditional Chinese has no word for "middle ground".

In other news, I went to the post office to send a parcel to my girlfriend and the following conversation took place:

[In the room where you have to buy the boxes, opposite the International Counter itself]

Worker: Go to the counter to check you can send all that in one box. ("All that" is a DVD, an item of clothing, and a letter)

[At the counter]

Worker: You can't send this all together.

Me: Why not?

Worker: This is written stuff, and these are articles. You can send the letter on its own and the items in a box.

Me: Why? I've done it before! Look, I'm not blaming YOU, but every time I come here there is some problem and the workers here all say "Oh it's just the regulations", so today, right now, I would like to see these regulations please.

Worker: (perplexed) I'll just go ask my supervisor. Wait a moment.

[She comes back after a minute or two]

Worker: Just a moment I have to make a phone call.

[Another minute passes]

Worker: Okay you can send them all together.


What the hell was that all about? I'm going back with a Chinese friend and I'm demanding a copy of their regulations now, this is ridiculous, I'm willing to bet half the stuff they've told me is just made up by someone who simply didn't like the aesthetics of whatever it was I was doing (writing addresses in red ink for instance) ... In future I'm just going to hide letters with my articles and sod them, I can even declare a letter's presence on the customs form, since I'm almost certain they don't speak / read English at the International Counter.

What a barmy country. Im home in 71 days.